My Current Dietary Situation

As you know, I LOVE cheese. LOVE LOVE LOVE it. And ice cream. Oh man.

When my son was born he acted like a devil child for the first 4 weeks. Screaming all. the. time. I thought to myself ‘what the hell have I done??’ at least 5,000 times a day. Then I posted this picture on facebook for his one month birthday with a little cute note:

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This little cutie is 1 Month old today! He has slept 3 1/2 hrs straight, loves to be swaddled, hates baths, eats like a champ, is VERY cranky at night, and has his first little cold. Mommy & Daddy love you Big Cat!

And within the hour I was FLOODED with posts from other moms suggesting I eliminate various things from my diet (my son was and is exclusively breastfed). That was the last day I purposefully ate any dairy (I have on accident a few times since). You guys, it was like we exchanged him at the baby store and brought home a new one. He started smiling, and was happy, and being a mom started to get fun! See, up till that point, when other moms talked about how much fun they were having and how much they loved being a mom I kind’ve thought they’d been sniffing glue. Along the way we’ve figured out that he also can’t handle eggs or soy.

So there you have it. No cheese for me (at least for the foreseeable future)! The beginning was so so hard. I had no idea what to eat. But, it gets easier all the time. And the funny thing is? I feel so much better. I’ve struggled with stomach issues for most of my adult life, and I’ve always had terrible acne. My tummy issues are almost entirely gone. My skin looks better than it has since pre-puberty.

Cooking and baking have becoming entirely new challenges, and I look forward to sharing some of my new creations with you! If I can remember to measure ingredients as I cook, that is :).

Cara

Today’s Workout: Rest Day.

P.S. Yes, Royce has a cleft lip. I’ll get to that more later.

Crack Cocaine Mix Tape

My mind is a crazy, scary place. Random thoughts pinging around, jumping from subject to subject, like a mix tape made by a drunk friend or someone on crack cocaine. Then suddenly the track gets stuck, and the thoughts come in a flood on a certain subject. The same rapid-fire thought process, but all centered around the same subject. My obsessive, pinging mind makes me a highly anxious person, prone to depressive episodes, high strung, and a real treat to be friends with or (especially) married to. Oh I’m sorry husband, you didn’t catch the first half of that conversation? The one I have been having with myself for the last 20 minutes? Or, hey friend, want to listen to me talk obsessively about infant sleep through our coffee date? You mean it’s already been an hour and I haven’t asked about your life even once?

The thing about this type of mind is that it is a double edged sword. Both my greatest blessing and my biggest curse. I am incredibly productive and innovative, but can be self centered and absent. I make goals for myself yearly, monthly, and weekly, and on every single one of those lists I write ‘be present.’ See, when your mind is constantly 5 steps ahead or busy obsessing, you miss stuff. You miss entire conversations, days, special moments. The goals help with the pinging but can exacerbate the obsessing if I’m not careful.

Quiet time is difficult for me, as being alone with my thoughts can be dangerous. That’s when the obsessing and the pinging can easily trigger anxiety. Because of this, I always had to run with music or with a friend. The problem with this was that I had it in my mind that ‘real runners’ didn’t run with music. That once you were a runner a switch flipped, and you were able to run for miles and miles and miles in silence. Don’t ask me where this idea came from, because duh, I already told you my mind is crazy.

Ironically, a few years ago a switch did flip, so maybe I was right after all. I think it actually has much more to do with the state of my mental health than becoming a ‘real’ runner. But I still like to think that my ability to run for miles in silence makes me more legit. These days I’m a lot better at handling my crazy mind. I know how it works a little better, and I understand it more and more every day. I know the things that help and the things that make it worse. I still struggle with too much alone time, and probably always will. Or, maybe someday a switch will flip, and I’ll become a ‘real’ human being.

Cara

Today’s Workout: Hiking w/ a friend & a TIU ab workout